Oi, listen up sunshine! If you keep flapping about like a chicken with its head cut off, you’re bound to do a faceplant right into a pile of your own nonsense. So, it’s ace to have your sights set on the horizon, but don’t go ignoring that little voice in your gut; that’s your true north, innit? Remember, there’s a world of difference between zipping along and bolting like you’ve got a firecracker up your backside. So calm your boots, and don’t act on every daft idea that pops into your head. You’re just asking for a right royal cock-up if you do. Oh, and your lucky phrase for the day is “slow and steady wins the race.” Not that you’d know anything about that, you overeager sod. Just remember, the only time that phrase doesn’t apply is when you’re running from the cops or a rabid squirrel. In that case, you best leg it!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!