Oi, sunshine! That top bloke you’ve been relying on like a pint on Friday night might just drop the ball this time. Not on purpose, mind you, but still, the plonker’s actions are going to leave you feeling more uncomfortable than a nun in a bikini shop. Then there’s that mate of yours, acting around you like a cat on hot bricks. There’s a few reasons for that, but I won’t spill the beans, wouldn’t want to ruin your tea. And for your lucky charm, it’s a four-leaf clover. Yeah, I know it’s Irish, not British. But hey, at least it’s not French, right?

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!