Sweating like a pig at a bacon festival, are you? Waiting for the results of that test or application? Well, don’t get your knickers in a twist, love. You’ll be gobsmacked to find out your competition is also as nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs. With your years of experience, which probably outnumbers Methuselah’s age, you’re standing on solid ground to bag the gold. An old chum who always thought you were the bee’s knees will be ringing you up soon, probably to borrow some cash or your lucky pants. Speaking of lucky pants, yours could be a pair of purple polka-dotted bloomers. Why? Well, purple’s your lucky colour, and those ridiculous dots? They’re your lucky number – 23. Every time you wear them, you’ll be reminded of the mantra “Better a witty fool than a foolish wit.” And no, dear, it’s not a tip to start a stand-up comedy career. It’s just a charm to bring a smile on your face, or a laugh at your own expense. So, put on those lucky pants, strut around and remember: fortune favours the brave… or in your case, the outright daft.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!