Blimey, mate, it’s all going off like a frog in a sock, innit? When your noggin starts shooting out ideas like a malfunctioning popcorn machine, get yourself a pen and start jotting. When you finally get a breather later, you’ll be chuffed to bits you took a minute to scribble it all down. You’re as ready as a one-legged man at a bum-kicking contest to tackle any bloody obstacle, particularly if it involves blowing your own trumpet. Your lucky phrase for the day: “Duck and dive.” It’s about as useful as a chocolate fireguard, but crack on, you might just dodge some of life’s low blows with it!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!