Life’s got a right cheeky selection of niggling chores and downright mind-numbing tasks lined up for you, innit? They’re as welcome as a fart in a spacesuit but, alas, they’re as inevitable as a hangover after a night down the pub. If you can’t find a mug to do ’em for you, pull up your socks and get stuck in, pronto. Better to do it now, sunshine, than end up up the creek without a paddle later on. Now, for your lucky charm: a rusty old horseshoe. No, it’s not for fending off the tax man, although I wouldn’t blame you for trying. It’s for luck, darling! And remember, it’s about as useful as a chocolate teapot if you don’t actually do something with it!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!