Listen here, darling, don’t you dare keep all those juicy thoughts bottled up. Let it all hang out, just like Aunt Mabel at the family reunion in her two-sizes-too-small swimsuit! When you spill the tea on your feelings and woes, people are more likely to get your drift and throw you a bone. It’s like therapy, but cheaper and without the dodgy psychiatrist! Plus, airing your dirty laundry in public may lighten your load. Lord knows you need to shift some weight off those shoulders (and other parts)! You might even stumble upon a solution or two, just like finding a tenner in a pair of old jeans. Now wouldn’t that be a laugh? As for your lucky charm, it’s that old, ratty, been-through-the-wash-too-many-times lucky underwear of yours. I don’t know why you still keep it, probably for the same reason you keep that ex of yours on speed dial! But hey, who am I to judge? Just remember, love, one man’s trash is another man’s treasure. Or in this case, one man’s smelly old pants is another man’s lucky charm.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!