Here’s a turn up for the books, ain’t it? One of your so-called chums has thrown a spanner in the works, proving that getting a handle on a person can be like trying to nail jelly to a tree. It’s a right slog dropping your guard, only to cop a face full of rejection pie. When a mate or other half decides to scarper, the truly gutting bit is clocking on that they’ve been playing hide-and-seek with their plans, the sneaky blighters. Makes you feel like you’ve been trying to read War and Peace in the dark, don’t it? Now, your lucky mantra for the day is: “What doesn’t kill you, makes you wish it bloody well had.” Bit of a giggle, innit? But remember, it’s always better to be the one laughing last, even if you do look like a twit.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!