Sweetheart, self-doubt’s got you in a headlock tighter than a drag queen’s girdle. Your rivals are sniffing your worry like a bloodhound on a bacon-scented candle. Honestly, darling, they’re taking advantage of your vulnerability like a nudist at the North Pole. So, pull yourself together, chuck. Believe in your capabilities like a Kardashian believes in self-promotion. Don’t let the jitters send you into a tizzy, do something to keep it in check. A little amble or a spot of light exercise might do the trick – work up a bit of a glow, but nothing that’ll smear your mascara. Now, your lucky charm is a pair of knickers. But not just any knickers, mind. Granny’s bloomers. Huge, billowing, parachute-sized knickers. Trust me, no one’s going to mess with you when you’ve got those tucked in your pocket. Gives a whole new meaning to “going commando”, doesn’t it?

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!