You might feel like a one-legged duck swimming in circles, never getting closer to that juicy bit of bread you’ve got your eye on. Now listen here, you need to stop beating yourself up like a red-headed stepchild. Your stubbornness to keep on truckin’ shows you’ve got more balls than a snooker table. Alright, so that dream of yours has been as elusive as a fart in a fan factory, but keep your knickers on. Everything will eventually fall into place, just like a drunk on a Friday night. Lucky charm: A horseshoe. Mind you, if you’re walking under ladders, it won’t make a blimey bit of difference.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!