The last thing you’d fancy is getting your knickers in a twist over something as drab as a wet weekend in Wigan. You’re about as eager to bog off and do something new as a dog with two tails. So, you’ll be cock-a-hoop with this bright spark of an idea promising more change of scenery than a dodgy episode of EastEnders. Lucky charm: A rubber duck. Because, let’s face it darling, you’ll need all the help you can to keep afloat in this sea of madness.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!