One of your chums or some soppy sod who’s head over heels for you is about to toss a right curveball your way. You won’t see it coming, like a pigeon shitting on your best hat. But don’t worry your pretty little head off, you’ll whip up a response quicker than a rat up a drainpipe. Your answer will knock them for six, but hey, they’re the ones who decided to play silly buggers in the first place. As for your lucky charm, it’s a pair of stinky old socks. I know, it’s about as appealing as a fart in a lift, but who knows? They could turn out to be your ticket to the good life. Just remember, if anyone asks why you’re carrying them around, your lucky excuse is: “They’re a family heirloom.” That should get some laughs!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!