Blimey, there’s a bloke or two or perhaps a dingy pub from your yesteryears that you’ve got to kick to the kerb, love, if you fancy spicing up your life with new larks. This might mean giving the old heave-ho to some old codger you’ve been stuck with for donkey’s years, or telling that job you’ve clung to like a barnacle on a ship’s hull to sling its hook. Sod it, it’s a bit of a sticky wicket, but it’s what you’ve got to do if you want to swap your misery for a bit of the old joie de vivre, isn’t it? And here’s a bit of a giggle: Your lucky phrase is “Bob’s your uncle!” Not that Bob is your uncle, mind you. If he was, you’d probably have to chuck him out with the rest of the old baggage from your past.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!