After a recent cock-up, you’re chomping at the bit to show some poor sod you’re not a total numpty. You’re hell-bent on putting your best foot forward in every bloody thing you take on, trying to polish a turd into a diamond. Your skills, talent, and knowledge will dazzle like a rhinestone thong at a vicar’s tea party, and you’ll rack up some gloriously mediocre accomplishments. Lucky charm: A horseshoe. Just remember, if it starts speaking to you, you’ve probably had one too many pints.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!