Well, love, it seems you’ve got more options than a dog at a lamppost convention. But let’s be honest, you’re as picky as a vegan at a butchers, so I wouldn’t bet my last biscuit any of ’em will tickle your fancy. You’d rather take your time, wouldn’t you? Faff about like a chicken in a maths test. Oh, and then there’s that poor sod who’s clinging to you like static on a polyester suit. They’re about as independent as a toddler in a tux. Maybe it’s time to give ’em a nudge, eh? Tell them to bugger off and stand on their own two feet. It’s about time they quit sucking the life out of you like a Dyson on overdrive. Your lucky phrase today is “sod off”. Use it liberally, especially when someone’s trying to sell you a dodgy watch or a bridge in Brooklyn. Because honestly, who needs that sort of hassle when you’re busy trying to decide between a pina colada or a mojito?

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!