As we hurtle towards 2025 like a drunken uncle at a wedding, you’re bound to stumble upon some rather titillating methods to rake in the dosh. You’ll be shaking off your drab, life-sucking job like a wet dog shakes off a puddle, and the relief will be as palpable as a nudist at a nettle convention. Perhaps you’ve been tickling the ol’ grey matter about becoming your own gaffer. Just remember, being the big cheese means more than just swanning about in a fancy suit – it’ll take more commitment than a sloth on a treadmill and self-discipline to rival a chocolate lover in a Cadbury factory. Lucky Tip: Always wear your lucky underpants on a Monday. They’ve seen more arse than a public toilet but they could bring you the luck of the Irish. Just remember to wash them first, you filthy animal. And no, turning them inside out does not count as cleaning.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!