Ain’t you a right jammy dodger, juggling ten jobs at once like you’re putting on a circus for the office. Got your colleagues green as mushy peas, they are. Some poor sod’s probably wishing they could just stick to one bit, you know? Just so they can show off their one trick like a dog with a bone. Bet your bottom pound they’d love a bit of spotlight in those dreary meetings. But no, there you are, hogging all the glory, you absolute show-off! Now your lucky charm this week is a rubber duck. Yes, you heard it right. Stick it on your desk and watch your productivity soar. Or not. It’s a bloody rubber duck, what do you expect?

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!