If you’re having a right old flap about your bills and all those pesky pennies you owe, don’t get your knickers in a twist! A surprising chance to make a bit of dosh is about to pop up like a bad rash. It’s bloody peculiar how these money-making larks seem to show up when you’re least expecting it, like a fart in a lift. In the meantime, keep your noggin focused on all the mind-blowing gifts the past year has chucked at you, you ungrateful sod. Lucky item for you is a rabbit’s foot – not so lucky for the rabbit, mind. Here’s a tip: don’t go telling PETA.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!