Look here, mate, it’s time to give your peepers a bit of a jiggle and take a butcher’s at the circus of life swirling around you. I mean, honestly, you’re clinging to negativity like a sloshed bloke to a kebab at 2am. It’s doing your head in, not to mention your ticker. Some poor sod out there is trying to give you a leg up but you’re acting like they’ve offered you a soggy chip instead of a golden ticket. Pull your socks up, take the help, and you might just find your world flipping over like a pancake on Shrove Tuesday. Now, for your lucky bit – the number seven. Yeah, I know, it sounds as exciting as a dry cracker, but trust me, it’s got more kick than a mule on Red Bull. Keep it in mind when you’re buying your scratch cards and you might just end up laughing all the way to the bank instead of crying into your pint.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!