Well, darling, raking in the dosh ain’t your problem, is it? It’s hanging onto it that’s got you in a right pickle! You’re dropping cash like a posh bird drops her ‘h’s. Here’s a tip, love, next time you’re about to splash out on another chintzy piece of tat you don’t need, put your purse on lockdown for 24 hours. Give it a day’s kip. Chances are when it wakes up, it’ll tell you to stick your impulse buy where the sun don’t shine. And here’s your lucky tip, sweety: Next time you’re about to say something you might regret, stick a Mars Bar in your mouth. It’s a lucky charm that keeps you from talking bollocks. Just remember, it’s harder to put your foot in your mouth when it’s full of chocolate!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!