Alright, listen up, you cheeky sod. Instead of being a stubborn mule who’s as flexible as the Queen’s ceremonial crown, why not try a bit of chit-chat, a smidgen of compromise? It’s bloody shocking, I know, but you might find that more people will back you up rather than tell you to sod off! I know, I know, you’re as cunning as a fox in a hen house but playing the smart arse isn’t always the winning ticket, love. You could outwit half the population of London on a bad day, but do you really want to be that wanker at the pub that no one wants to share a pint with? Lucky Charm: Find yourself a four-leaf clover, although with your luck, you’ll probably pluck poison ivy instead. But hey, maybe a rash is just the wake-up call you need!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!