Well, ain’t this a right old knees-up! The whole bloomin’ town’s having a chinwag about your carry-on. Your mates and work lot are all coming out of the woodworks, offering their sage advice – and now even your old mum and dad are sticking their oar in. Everyone’s tossing their tuppence into the pot, but do us a favour, don’t be a complete numpty and just nod along. You’ve got a noggin on your shoulders, use it for once! As for your lucky charm, it’s a teapot. Yes, you heard it right, a bloody teapot! Because, let’s be fair, the only thing you can do without causing a national uproar is brewing a decent cuppa!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!