Oh, darling, brace yourself. Your long lost cousin or the mate that nicked your last biscuit is about to crawl back, snivelling for your pardon. They’ve finally developed a conscience for the bollocks they’ve put you through. Now, you’re sat there, chin on hand, contemplating whether to play Mother Teresa or step into the shoes of Gordon Ramsay on a bad hair day. Just ponder on this – How would you fancy being treated if you were the jammy git who messed up? And for your lucky bit, my love, your lucky colour? It’s beige. Yes, you heard it right, bloody beige. It’s as exciting as watching paint dry or listening to a politician’s speech. But who knows, it might just be the magic you need to avoid any more drama!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!