Oi, you! Yeah, you, the one who’s been treating your body like a dustbin, stuffing it with everything but the kitchen sink. It’s time you started a new regime, one that doesn’t involve a diet of kebabs and fizzy pop. Your gut’s been crying out for mercy, so how about giving herbal remedies a bash – they might just help you sort out whatever physical calamity you’ve got going on. And while you’re at it, take a moment to notice that partner or housemate of yours. You know, the one who’s been running around like a headless chicken, doing everything for you. Give ’em a nod, a pat on the back, or, heaven forbid, a thank you. They’re not your personal butler, you know. Lucky charm of the day: A clover leaf. Yes, those things are not just for leprechauns, you know. Try carrying one around. It might just give you the luck you need to avoid stepping on any more Lego bricks barefoot. Or, you know, you could just tidy up your mess for once.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!