Blimey, you’re usually such a top-notch ear bender, ain’t ya? Your mates could bleat on about their woes and you’d stroke their egos like a pro. You’re all sweetness and light, doling out the sympathy like a well-oiled agony aunt. But today, you’re as bothered as a sloth on a treadmill. You couldn’t give two hoots about their sob stories. You’re as distant as Pluto and as indifferent as a taxman at a charity gala. And for a cheeky bit of luck, try wearing a pair of mismatched socks. Hey, it might not solve their problems, but at least it’ll give ’em something else to moan about.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!