Well, ain’t this a ripe old pickle? After running around at work like a blue-arsed fly, you’re starting to feel a bit chummy with one of your fellow wage slaves. And it’s not just because you’re both stuck in the same rat race. Blimey, it’s like you’re bloody telepathic or something, reading each other’s minds like a pair of saucy fortune tellers at a seaside resort. Your lucky item, you ask? It’s a rubber duck. Yes, you heard me right, a rubber duck. Keep it in your pocket and give it a good squeeze whenever things get a bit too cheeky. It’ll remind you that life ain’t all that serious and sometimes, you just gotta let it float.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!