Brace yourself, love. You’re about to dive headfirst into a new commitment that’s as exciting as a weekend in Blackpool… in January. Who knows, you might even discover something new about yourself, like how quickly you can go from Zen to zero patience. Your dear chum’s about to drop a bombshell that’ll rattle your tea cups. It�s a bit like finding out the Queen’s joined Love Island. Someone you thought you knew is about to throw a curveball that’d make a cricket ball look straight. Oh, and here’s a bit of your lucky chit-chat. Your lucky number is two. Why? Because it takes two to tango, two to make a right tit of yourself, and two to share a bottle of gin. And remember, always keep your gin closer than your enemies. God save the gin!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!