Well, blimey! You’re about to get as social as a seagull at a chip shop, mate! You’re gonna rub shoulders with some right oddballs and it’ll jolt your grey cells like a double espresso from a greasy spoon. Brace yourself for a wild ride, full of more twists and turns than Boris Johnson’s hairdo. Then there’s this old codger at work who’s taken a shine to your practical skills – probably because he can’t even work the office kettle without causing a fire drill. He’s about to make you an offer – one that you’d be as daft as a brush to turn down. Just remember, it’s only because you’re less of a disaster than the rest of them. Now, onto your lucky charm. It’s the number 7. Why? Because it’s the amount of pints you’d need to make any of this sound sensible! So go ahead, raise a glass to the absurdity of it all.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!