Luv, if you’re on about slagging off your partner’s mates or kin, you’re heading for a right ruddy row, I’m telling you. Your gob might just be the chatroom for Chinese whispers, causing more kerfuffle than a fox in a chicken coop, leaving your plans in a pickle and your mug as miserable as a wet weekend in Wales. So, before you let your mouth motor on, have a bloody think, will ya? Now, if you’re after a bit of the good stuff, your lucky charm is a rubber duck. Yes, you heard me right, a rubber duck. Keep it in your pocket, and when things get a bit iffy, give it a squeeze and remember – at least you’re not as daft as a duck with a rubber ring.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!