Listen up, love, you’re faffing about like a cat in a dog show. Can’t decide whether to lock yourself in the loo or go play happy families with that new neighbourhood hullabaloo? You’ve got skills, pet, but you’re about as useful as a chocolate teapot if you don’t put them to good use. Joining in might not be all that bad, you know. Could be a right laugh, and you’ll finally stop wasting time like a Sloth on sedatives. Lucky charm: A rubber duck. You might find it quackers, but having this little chap around could be your golden ticket to good fortune. Just don’t start quacking up in public, darling.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!