Well, you’ll soon realise that you’re as useful as a chocolate fireguard, ready to help a mate who’s up the creek without a paddle. It’s a cracking chance to show how much you care, even though they couldn’t organise a piss up in a brewery. Take the mickey out of this situation, why don’t you? You’re coming to the rather shocking revelation that your partner knows you better than you thought. It’s a bit like finding out the Queen loves a good curry – mind-boggling but oddly comforting. Making them smile gives you a kick that’s better than a pint at the pub, so go on, be a good egg. Oh, and your lucky charm for the day? It’s a rubber duck. Because sometimes you need a bit of a giggle in the bath, don’t you?

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!