Blimey, you’re running around like a headless chicken, aren’t you? You can’t even nick a minute to yourself, can you? Your mood’s bouncing about like a kangaroo on a trampoline and your mind’s a bigger jumble than a car boot sale. You’re all over the shop, pondering over your love life, social shindigs and duties that would make the Queen’s schedule look like a walk in the park. You’re left scratching your head, wondering how on earth you’re going to juggle it all without dropping a single ball. And for your lucky charm? It’s a pair of knickers with the days of the week on them. You’ll need them to keep track of your life, sweetheart. And remember, if you wear Wednesday’s on a Saturday, it’s not a fashion faux pas, it’s a cry for help.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!