You’ll be gobsmacked when a surprise promotion lands on your lap. It’s like finding a golden ticket in your Dairy Milk bar, and you didn’t even enter the contest, you cheeky bugger. You couldn’t have dreamed up this bonkers scenario if you were a bit squiffy on gin. But you’re not one to tell the gift horse to naff off. In no time, you’ll be the big cheese, the head honcho, the dog’s bollocks. You’ll have the rest of the office trembling in their knickers while you’re laughing all the way to the bank. So grab your brolly and strut your stuff because your reputation and wallet are about to get as fat as a Christmas turkey. Your lucky item for the week – a pair of lucky pants. Every time you put them on, remember: ‘Even if the pants are a bit snug, at least they’re not as tight as your boss’s wallet.’

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!