Well, darling, you must be as pleased as a porker in muck with how your latest bit of tomfoolery is going. Sure, you’ve had a few hiccups along the way, but you’ve tackled them like a bulldog chewing a wasp. Keep your peepers peeled for a jaunt somewhere in the coming weeks. I mean, it’s bound to be a laugh, unless you end up in Skegness or something. And for your lucky charm, how about a three-legged donkey? Not only is it a conversation starter, but it can also serve as a reminder that even when life kicks you in the knackers, there’s always someone worse off. Like a donkey with only three legs.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!