Blimey, this shindig’s about as much fun as a root canal at the dentist. You’ve got a pal who’s put more effort into planning this than the Queen puts into her Christmas speech. You can almost taste their despair, poor sod. But don’t let ’em see you’re as thrilled as a turkey on Christmas Eve. Slap on a grin that could compete with a Cheshire cat and fake it ’til you make it, darling. Pretend like you’re having a blast, even if you’d rather be at home, plucking your eyebrows. Now, for a bit of luck, your lucky number is 13. Yes, you heard me right, the same number that would have Dracula running for the hills! Could be the perfect excuse to bail early from that dreadful party, eh? “Sorry, must dash, the number 13 is calling!” Bet that’s an excuse they haven’t heard before!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!