Well, duckie, your little lovey-dovey twosome or solemn vow has gone belly up. Your noggin’s a right muddle, like a bag of cats in a spin cycle, making it bloomin’ impossible to concentrate on one bloomin’ thing. Do yourself a favour, take a hefty gulp of air and pull your socks up or you’ll keep toddling about your day like a headless chicken in a lingerie shop. Your lucky charm, my sweet, is a brass monkey. Let’s hope it doesn’t get too cold. Wink-wink, nudge-nudge!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!