Blimey, you’re being a regular Mother Teresa, ain’t ya? Flashing your cash and kindness around like you’ve just won the lottery and found religion all at once. Your shiny personality, honeyed words, and that infectious, gut-busting sense of humour of yours is like catnip to folks who share your brand of crazy. With your brand of sharp wit, you’re like a stand-up comedian on steroids. You’ve got the knack to pick up anyone’s mood from the gutter, polish it up and send it skyrocketing, even if they’ve just lost their job, their dog, and their favourite pair of undies. Lucky charm: A rubber chicken. Why? Because nothing says ‘I’m the life of the party’ like a rubber chicken, and we all know you’re just clucking hilarious.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!