Oi! Listen up, you lazy sod. You’re about to find yourself lumbered with a load of extra grunt work, but here’s the twist: it might just turn out to be your saving grace. No more hiding behind the photocopier when the boss strolls in. You’ll finally prove to yourself and everyone else that you’re not just a pretty face. Best part? You’ll finally stop sucking up to your boss and start impressing the pants off them instead. See that over there? That’s change, looming like a drunken uncle at a family barbecue. And don’t get your knickers in a twist, it’s going to be a right corker for you, mate. Now, here’s your lucky charm: a moth-eaten rabbit’s foot. Don’t ask how I got it or why it’s missing a toe. Just trust me, it’s luckier than a three-legged dog at a sausage factory. And remember, if anybody asks, you found it in the bottom of a cereal box.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!