Blimey, you’re on a right old mission to forgive and forget, ain’t ya? Got more therapeutic paths than a garden centre, you do. Thinking outside the box type like yourself, you’re always finding that a good old strop can be as inspiring as a kick in the arse. So instead of sitting there, moping like a dumped Love Island contestant, why not turn that bitchy energy into a bit of creativity? Whack out the watercolours, bash out a ballad, or even write the next Fifty Shades, but with a sprinkle of your personal touch of bitterness, darling. Oh, and here’s a right corker for you – your lucky item is a feather. A tip for the day? Stick it where the sun don’t shine. Might tickle your fancy. You never know, you might cough up a bloody masterpiece.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!