Rumpology, is also known as butt reading, and the reading is about the lines, crevices, dimples, and folds of the buttocks to give you an idea of the butt owner’s character and also to get a glimpse of what lies ahead for them. In the old days Greeks thought the butt was the key to health and fidelity. The Romans used butt prints to determine potential talents and future success for the person involved.

You may have heard of the name Jackie Stallone, who is Sylvester Stallone’s mother and she is a famous Rumpologist who has been doing this for years. She makes you sit on a photo copier so she can photo copy your butt and then read it for you. She claims that the left and right butt cheeks reveal a person’s past and future, respectively. She thinks that the right buttocks represents the left cerebral hemisphere of the brain, while the left buttocks represents the right hemisphere. Her butt report, she says, can tell you “whether you are going backwards or are going forwards. She also teachers others to do this. José Miranda, learned rumpology from Stallone. Butt reading is no different than reading a palm its just a little stranger that’s all! Rumpology works the same way as astrology, cartomancy and palmistry. You, the reader, will tell the client a few things about herself and what the future holds in store for her. The client can’t do this herself because she doesn’t have the expertise that you have. You don’t have any expertise, you say? That’s why you’re reading this how-to-article. I will give you all the expertise you’ll need. You’ll be amazed at how little you have to know in order to be a successful rumpologist.

Let’s begin with a idea on what a reading is. Every reading is an interpersonal communication activity between the reader and the client and every reading will be different because each person is different. One part will tell the client who she is and the other part telling her what the future holds in store for her. The character analysis are uncannily accurate. People will want to know about such things as health, wealth, and money matters—including career moves or changes. They are interested in love matters and want to know about relationships that await them. Will I find the love of my life? Is my boyfriend cheating on me? The butt is very complex and the effects of years of sitting on one’s butt can distort some of the markings and mislead the butt reader sometimes. But by and large I would say the readings are possibly around 80% accurate which is likened to the accuracy a weather forecast!