Celebrity Predictions Female Celebrities

Sarah Millican

Written by Philip Garcia

Unlike Helen of Troy Sarah’s face has not launched a thousand ships it has launched a thousand laughs nay a million. Sarah ……. is a stream of consciousness style comedienne, communicative, unique and a laugh a minute. She has that perky planet Mercury on her side, Mercury the Great Communicator, the happy astro guy who shines” chit chat” rays on a life. In fact quick silver humour has been the key to Sarah since she was knee high, making school pals giggle was her way of saying “Hey world, be nice to me!”

A performance gene apparently originating from the Planet Zog is pulsating in her DNA. Sarah’s “Zoggism” is an unusual humour, a wacky part Goon, part Benny Hill, part Monty Python, part Joyce Grenfell, part Hatty Jacques and Sarah has it all. Her style is still very much her own though. Her creativity flows, especially if she cuts back on head trips that make her believe she is about to catch the bubonic plague, Sarah does have some lovable hypochondriac tendencies.

Be assured, karma definitely comes into what our Sara is doing. The word karma might seem hackneyed to some, in fact Sarah would crack a joke about it, but still, a gargantuan potential to create “funny” on this earth is part and parcel of her heritage, her DNA. In other words, it seems the astro set it all up for her up before she landed on planet earth.

Sarah started her life cracking jokes ad infinitum. A funny baby, a hilarious toddler, a hysterical teen, and now everyone is laughing. Something mystical and other worldly will hit her for six in her senior citizen years though; the Angels have earmarked her for a Marx Brothers time. In fact as she was floating in the other dimensions God said, “this soul needs a great sense of humour, but also a whole dose of serious worry so they do not get big headed.” No Sarah, you could never do that, lol!

Sarah worries about all things “normal” people worry about, and more, the meaning of life, failing, abandonment, not making it through the night, and she gets more than just a few sneaky feelings alla “Woody Allen”; some of them are downright philosophical in nature, Hamlet colloquy style which strangely enough, helps her work through most or any problem.


Text GARCIA followed by your question to 84122, and get the first 3 reply messages absolutely free!!

T&C's:Text cost £1/msg max 2 per reply. First 3 messages are free. To opt out of free promos send STOP. 18+ SP=InverOak Help? 0207 011 6210

Sarah was all set to live a high life in her hot years, but she had to face complicated emotional losses that marked her tender heart. As a result she has a vision of sex, love and money on, dare we say it, a more universal level than most of us, and that helps her crack those outrageous jokes. She goes for the “give it to them” from the hip” effect. Yet surprise, surprise, she also has an innate spiritual knowingness, dare we call it psychic, that is hard for her to hack since she is basically a material girl. Her merry making, coupled with those “see through” eyes of hers, pick up a louse at 30 paces, but also split an audience apart with giggles as she points out humanity’s behavioural quirks.

Jupiter in Aries means when that alarm goes off Sarah already has her dancing shoes on. No mucking about, she is going for enthusiastic and zealous. New, new new! Life is one big open door, a huge buffet table, a great gourmet meal. She risks, she is optimistic, she will win through and in that process she will say what she thinks, no pussy footing around. But when it comes to intimate emotions, she won’t say what she really feels in case she hurts that someone close.

People love her and she loves them. They sense her strength, her “sad clown” capacity to stand alone. They do not resent her “take” or the fact that “impossible” is music to her ears when it comes to pulling a giggle out of someone deadpan.

She was pretty crushed about love and its painful side as a young woman, but that is because Venus in Cancer makes her so sensitive. She has this “sob on my shoulder “attitude to life. She knows what it feels like to be hurt. So she spoils those who have been taken advantage of. Sarah likes lots of cushions plumped up on the sofa; a Stills, Nash and Young song comes to mind here. it goes “Two cats in the yard, life used to be so hard…..!” So nice warm décor at home, nice warm welcome and music to make a broken heart feel at ease.

Humanity is Sarah’s family’s true family and she does so like Christmas and birthdays. She never betrays a mate, and if one lets her down, she will suffer for years without saying a word to them. Her humour has a self depreciating, healing quality, she wears her loving heart on her sleeve, unless someone really gets up her nose, and then she can be Ms Snob incarnate.

Sarah digs simple, none of that New Age, narcissist, self searching intellectual phoniness, unless someone makes her snigger like Woody Allen, who once said “What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.”

Saturn says don’t burn out Sarah, take time off to get your own laughs, have some fun escape holes to scurry to. Work is your life blood, but you do need to take a break now and then. Yet Sarah likes business to be business, and she could get overly pedantic about the odd “small” fault that could end up with a joke going titties up, but then she starts laughing at how overly critical she is, and it is all over even though she will continue to burn the midnight oil.

Following her devastation of her husband unexpectedly leaving her in 2004, Sarah was naturally cautious when it came to relationships, in 2006 she started dating fellow comedian Gary Delaney, they lived separately for 7 years, often far apart for weeks at a time, during a guest spot on Alan Carr Chatty Man she declared they had found a home and had began living together, in January 2014 she announced that the couple had wed at the end of December 2013, cautiousness has paid off for the lovely lass, this chap is here for the long haul!

Sarah’s creative energy comes through super dynamite Mercury dancing with Pluto as it builds into a devastatingly creative tango. With that kind of astro material how could Sarah not be a laugh a minute? But sometimes her own life has had to strive at laughter, especially when that worry phantom popped up, or someone broke her heart. Burning the midnight oil has been Sarah’s answer to fixations and concerns; this includes night time frolics, a creative love in, or chatting to different gals and geezers to understand the human race a tad. Super communication has always been Sarah’s way of working through three hundred life challenges at the same time!

At the risk of sounding high and mighty Sarah is set to achieve her mission in this life, and 2015 will be especially significant. Pluto is still hot on her tail; he shows up in Libra. Sarah might say “What the blazes does that mean?” Pluto is the God of the Underworld, and in Sarah’s case he reveals hidden gifts with Libra’s help. Pluto has been working overtime in Sarah’s life; after all it is in the dark that Sarah found her light. Pluto in Libra may be a bit compulsive, want to make things work unconventional style, encouraging Sarah’s worship of art, she could even get addicted to it, collecting pictures, antiques, statues, whatever. Yet Sarah’s Pluto adores artistic expression because it brings out her soul.

The majority of people seek meaning in their lives and get nowhere in that search, but our Sarah is earmarked to find it. Wow, super lucky Sarah. Okay things can appear frustrating, and not at all funny. Sarah could sometimes feel like beating life around the ears with a frying pan, but no matter the hitch ups, what she wants to achieve is more than probable. In fact she will move out of those static, stuck moments, including the ebb and flow of every day mediocrity

So to return to Pluto, he kidnapped Sarah and made her live in his dark world for a while, she stood up to him, just like Alice in Wonderland stood up to the Mad Hatter and took what was needed, throwing the rest out, except the grinning Cheshire cat of course. Sarah just must love cats!

So as far as career is concerned, that inner wisdom, that mad, comic spiritual side, that knowing, the part of Sarah that can read humanity like a book is going to go “big time”, and will hit a new public for six.

When it comes to Sarah and the metaphysical, get this! The whirling, circle on top of her head, in lay terms called the crown chakra, through which intense light energy floweth from the other dimensions, will channel a group of hilarious, giggly angels, rolling around all over the place telegraphing jokes and fun asides to Sarah and hence to her audience who will also scream with laughter..

A” passed on” spirit relative is close to Sarah, pushing her forward to ever more recognition. She could get high from all the attention showered upon her; the astro insists she will be heating up the sofa on many a chat show. Innovative changes to her act will come into the picture, add ons, and strike outs, revamping and recharging. But through all of this there is a steadying thing going on here, which means she can risk, and still get pay back. Big money is on its way!

So 2014 sees our Sarah making major changes to her lifestyle, a new outlet for her act, travel, looking after her physical body with a trip down to the gym. What? Yes, something of that ilk, perhaps even massage, or meditation thrown in. These next couple of years is all about goodbye to the old and in with the new. Sarah could even put her sorcerer’s hat on, wave a wand and sing “This is the Season of the Witch!” Good old Pluto encouraging Sarah to dig into that mystical moment perhaps.

Sarah will have enough of bad habits, shaking them up and kicking them out, saying her last farewell to negatives. There is innovative self expression on the cards: Let us say God will hit Sarah over the head with that cosmic meat axe, and instead of knocking her out will inspire her. Enough is enough, put downs are of the past, Sarah can say goodbye to the demons of Pluto’s underworld. She went there and got the tee shirt and that is saying something! Anyway, Sarah’s kind of humour is needed; it rings peace like a proverbial bell. Her capacity to make others laugh stops the nastiness, the hypocritical, small mindedness that Sarah loathes so, dead in its tracks.

We are not lying when we say Sarah is gorgeous, a wonderful soul. Her energy lights up a room. The next life phase is “hallmark!” Forget the past Sarah; you are doing it in the” here and now”. You are going to be big, very big, and if you don’t like that thought, just call on that pudgy Cheshire cat who will put you straight with cuddles and mews. So why do cats do it for Sarah? Perhaps their furry smiles, their cute baby faces, and the way they make this lovely lady roar with laughter, who knows?

Speak to one of my hand-chosen psychics, instantly and confidentially! Calls cost £1 per minute plus your phone provider's access charge - call 09062655013. Or book a credit card reading by calling: 0207 111 6157 (c/c readings are priced higher).

About the author

Philip Garcia

Leave a Comment

Read previous post:
Perez Hilton

Why gag to meet Paris Hilton if you can meet super Aries Mario Armando Lavandeira Jr instead? If you grannies...